whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
