their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
