Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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