Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
