you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
