I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just took my morning after pill in the library
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
