Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
