i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
