K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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