she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
