Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
