Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
