Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
