oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She announced her abortion via fbk
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
