So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
