big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I didn't notice because vodka
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
