Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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