i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
she smelled like a LAN party
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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