This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
