this will be a night to untag.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
