I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
