New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
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Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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