eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
