I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
