he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
