Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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