@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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