I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
