just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize