I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
