I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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