another moral hangover. fuck.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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