new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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