don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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