Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
