So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
