The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
