did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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