well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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