I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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