She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
