Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
