They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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