Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
