New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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