I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize