porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
