Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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