I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
my shit smells like andre
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
