it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize