You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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