Kareoke will never be a sober sport
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
