The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
