Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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