he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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