I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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