Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
