I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
