Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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