no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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