my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
