youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
How naked do you want me to be?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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